Disciplining children is an art!

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“I know everything!”

This was what a 10 year old child told me when he stepped into my class more than a year ago. I was taken aback when he claimed he knew EVERYTHING in a rather smirk attitude.  His father who brought him to the class seemed very nice & humble.  The child tried reading his own book during class which of course, I didn’t allow.



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I have come to realize that disciplining children is really an art!  You need to manage their emotions, instill the right values and involve some play with psychology.  You also need to be creative when putting the message across such as play with words or find activities that will instill the value you want to teach.  If you are a parent, you must be recalling what are the words spoken or activities done with your children to send your message across.  I have heard the following advises numerous times:

1)      As parents, we have to set a good example. 

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2)      Parents must discipline the child when they make a mistake as the child’s action reflects his upbringing.

3)      Spare the rod, spoil the child!

The truth is CONSISTENCY!  Talk to the child when you are driving, when watching tv, when you come across an incident in the mall or in the restaurant.  Small actions or questions from the child can lead to a discussion and guiding them onto what is right and what is wrong.  You do not have to wait till a mistake is made before you discipline them!  Young children are at the age where they need to be guided to differentiate what is right and what is wrong.  The fact is, many of them will think that they know a lot of things already!

Start thinking about what kind of child you like yours to grow up to be.  Daily reminders and guidance will have to be based on the values you like to instill in them.  Being well mannered and appreciating others are attributes which will enable the child to make many friends and bring him far in life!

About the Author : Sherrine Teoh is the Principal Image Consultant with Image and You Consultancy.  She runs regular training for corporations and institutions as well as Individual Consultations on Personal Grooming, Dressing and Social Etiquette.  She is also Mrs Singapore Queen of Hope 2012, Mrs Asia International All Nations 2012 and Mrs Photogenic 2012 (Mrs Asia International). 
 

Manners - teach them from young!

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“I don’t know what kind of mother you are!”  This was a statement I overheard a young boy telling his mother at a shopping mall a few years ago.  As a mother, I was heartbroken.  I believe strongly that no matter what mistakes a mother have made, there is no reason a child can be this disrespectful!

 

It is always a joy teaching children, knowing that they are receptive to learn and coming to class with an open mind and many experiences of their own to share with you.  You just got to be patient with them.:)  Having taught children for almost 7 years, I realized that all children can be taught!  It’s easy when they are as young as 1-2 years old and gets tougher as they grow older.  The simple pleasantries and sharing of things work for the very young and the manners get a little stricter when they are 3-4 years old and older.  Things like greeting/farewell, being considerate, behavior during meal, taking turns and how they express their unhappiness can be taught!  They pick up habits easily and adults need to lead the way and set a good example!

 There are several reasons why children pick up bad manners:

1)      The adults are busy working and they do not place importance in teaching their children manners.  They can’t wait to bring them out and buy what they want or eat than giving them any form of reprimanding.

2)      The adults themselves are not strict in ensuring good manners from the child.  It is common to hear “It’s ok, he is just a child”.   Enforcing a ‘PLEASE’ behind every request instills the value that they do not take others for granted.

3)      The adult themselves do not have the habit.  If you do not address elders at the table before the meal, how do you think you can enforce it with the children?

 

During my class, they were many occasions where the children will counter my request for them to behave well. 

1)      We discussed about sitting properly at the dining table, a child asked why his father put his leg up on the chair he was sitting on.

2)      We discussed about saying THANK YOU, a child asked why adults don’t say it when she pressed the lift for them.

These are some examples I had as well as after observing and chatting with parents.  There are also books available for the long list of manners to be shared with your children.  Whether you are a parent or not, don’t you think you should start leading by example and then teach the children around you?

About the Author : Sherrine Teoh is the Principal Image Consultant with Image and You Consultancy.  She runs regular training for corporations and institutions as well as Individual Consultations on Personal Grooming, Dressing and Social Etiquette.  She is also Mrs Singapore Queen of Hope 2012, Mrs Asia International All Nations 2012 and Mrs Photogenic 2012 (Mrs Asia International). 
 

Menswear - what you should know

So much has been talked about on ladies wear that the men may feel neglected and they have to put in extra effort to find out more about dressing.  Let’s move the spotlight to men for this article!

Men can be quite extreme when it comes to dressing. 



Type 1
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Type 1 : They value comfort more than anything else when dressing.  With Singapore’s warm climate, it seems impossible to get your message across to them to dress up alittle!  They love their t-shirts, singlets and bermudas!  Convincing them works only if one of their immediate family members is getting married or maybe invitation by some royal family! ;p  Often, they ignore the ‘formal’ dress code stated in the invite or wear jeans to friends’ wedding!

Type 2: It’s wonderful going out with male friends who enjoy dressing up!  They ensure that the outfit fits them to the T and taking care of finer details such as appropriate accessories, length of pants, correct colour of socks, matching of shoes and belts and colour of clothes.  However, it does stress their female counterparts sometimes if those ladies do not enjoy dressing as much as they do!



Type 2
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So which is you or the guy you have in your mind now?

I admit that men do not have the luxury like ladies where there are endless designs and combinations when creating outfits.  However, it is the finer details that make a huge difference in men’s dressing.  Below are 5 tips all men should know.

1)      The tie should reach the middle of the buckle of the belt.

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2)      The amount of shirt tucked out should cover only half the belt.  Always check your image when you go to the washroom.  The shirt should not cover the whole belt.

3)      Ironed lines on the pants are important.  It is always very pleasing to see a man take the extra mile to look sharp.  These lines make you look taller too!

4)      The socks should match the colour of the pants.  This is to ensure that when the pants ride up when seated, the socks continue to cover the legs like the pants did.

5)      The belt and the shoes should match.  It gives that polished look!

This article should put you back on the right track (if you are not already there) and have succeeded in taking the first step to dressing well!  Men can have fun dressing up too!  Well dressed men do make others sit up and take a second look at them; making an impactful first impression! 


About the Author : Sherrine Teoh is the Principal Image Consultant with Image and You Consultancy.  She runs regular training for corporations and institutions as well as Individual Consultations on Personal Grooming, Dressing and Social Etiquette.  She is also Mrs Singapore Queen of Hope 2012, Mrs Asia International All Nations 2012 and Mrs Photogenic 2012 (Mrs Asia International). 
 

Mixing Patterns on an outfit

This question is often not just asked by ladies but also by the men!  The men needed to know if they can match patterned shirt with patterned tie.  From past experience, some people say you can mix patterns, some people think otherwise.  What do you think?

Patterns of different scale
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The fact is, you can mix patterns on an outfit as long as you following the guidelines below.  Mixing patterns can be interesting or totally clashing.  Though it should be done with some caution, it does add interest to your dressing.  Here are some guidelines to ensure that you are on the right track with mixing patterns.

1)      Make sure you combine patterns that are of different scale to ensure that the patterns do not confuse the eye.

2)      Do the eye test yourself.   Looking into the mirror, look at your dress then your face.  Look at your dress then your face again.  Feeling satisfied with your dressing, your eye finally settles on your face, then you are combining them right.  If you finished the test with your eye fixed on your outfit and still wondering if it’s ok, then I suggest you make some changes to your outfit.



Bold and creates confusion
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Some creative people dress with the scale of the patterns being very close and bold.  They are threading on the thin line and must be careful not to create confusion.

However, on formal or business occasions, it is best to keep patterns to its minimum or none at all as it gets more formal.  Similar to accessories (my previous article), the bolder the design, the more informal the outfit becomes.  Dressing for a job interview should also avoid patterns.  First of all it is a formal meeting and secondly, you do not want to risk diverting the attention from you. 

For a start, start simple.  Dress in an outfit with solid colour pieces and patterned pieces combined.  It’s much easier when only one piece of an outfit takes dominance.  Practise makes perfect!

About the Author : Sherrine Teoh is the Principal Image Consultant with Image and You Consultancy.  She runs regular training for corporations and institutions as well as Individual Consultations on Personal Grooming, Dressing and Social Etiquette.  She is also Mrs Singapore Queen of Hope 2012, Mrs Asia International All Nations 2012 and Mrs Photogenic 2012 (Mrs Asia International). 

Accessories - how much is too much?



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for office

Ever wondered how much accessories you should be wearing to work, to party or for a formal event?  I LOVE accessorizing and believe that it gives you a totally different look with the same outfit.  You get to pump up the look of even a t-shirt!  Often, I see ladies going to work with many strings of necklaces with that outfit or many chains of bracelets.  Even the accessories that come together (attached) with the outfit are considered part of accessorizing though it’s of no effort of yours.

If you approach any Image Professionals, they will be able to advise on your Accessory balance points (where should your accessories end) and accessory points (how many accessories you should wear).  In this article, we will talk about Accessory Points!  It’s interesting to know how much is consider too much for different occasions!

For an office outfit, the number of accessories worn should be kept around 5.  For instance, a pair of earrings (2 points), a necklace (1 point), a watch (1 point) and a ring (1 point).  The accessories for work should be simple and polished.  It should not be too colourful or fanciful.

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for party

For a party outfit, the number of accessories worn should be kept around 12-15.  For instance, a pair of earrings(2 points), a bold necklace (1-2 points), a watch (1 point), a ring (1 point), a bracelet (1 point), floral prints on the blouse (1-2 points), gathers on both sleeves (2 points), belt (1 point) and jeans with 2 pockets(2 points).

Pic Cr: www.rubyjax.com
for formal

For a formal event, the guideline should follow those of the office wear though the accessories can be bolder and with a touch of elegance such as thick  bangle or a choker. 

If the outfit is full of design, the accessory points will be lesser so that it will not complicate the look further. For men, cufflinks, belt buckles, bracelets, rings and watches are counted in the accessory points too.  With the guidelines shared, there should not be a time where you are not sure if you are wearing too many accessories or others commenting that you look like a Christmas tree! ;p

About the Author : Sherrine Teoh is the Principal Image Consultant with Image and You Consultancy.  She runs regular training for corporations and institutions as well as Individual Consultations on Personal Grooming, Dressing and Social Etiquette.  She is also Mrs Singapore Queen of Hope 2012, Mrs Asia International All Nations 2012 and Mrs Photogenic 2012 (Mrs Asia International).